Maybe it’s because I’m a Scorpio, but it’s impossible for me to hide my emotions.
Whether I’m stressed, or excited, or upset, I do a pretty bad job of hiding it. If I’m feeling a negative emotion, I get anxious, I stop talking and I can’t make good eye contact. You can read my poker face, because I don’t have one. It’s just not in me.
I’ve often been hard on myself for this, and it’s also caused me guilt. I’m hypersensitive, so if I even detect a slight shift in mood in somebody else, I immediately think it’s my fault or they’re upset with me. Nine times out of ten, they’re probably just having a bad day. So, that’s where the guilt comes in for me, because I know I’m sure I’ve done that to other people with my inability to mask my feelings. Continue reading “Being authentic and true”
Anyone who mildly knows me probably knows that I love Taylor Swift with all my heart, mind and soul. So naturally, when she released her latest promo single, “The Archer,” I immediately went to my room, put in my headphones and took a deep breath.
In the song, she sings “And I cut off my nose just to spite my face/Then hate my reflection for years and years.”
Admittedly, I had never heard that expression before, so I Googled. Basically, Google/Wikipedia says it’s “an expression to describe a needlessly self-destructive over-reaction to a problem.”
Wow. That’s me.
Now, this post isn’t really meant to talk about overreacting to stuff. Have I done that? Yeah, I think everyone has. But, in one instance, it snowballed into a situation I feel bad about years later.
Continue reading “My debt to pay: A lesson in accountability”
Hi there! It has been a really, really, really long time since I’ve blogged. That’s because life has been absolutely hectic and chaotic and a lovely mess of dreams coming true. And the reason for that is some hard work happening behind the scenes.
Back in March, I experienced a setback that crushed me. It was something I’d built up in my mind, something I was sure I would get. It was huge. And when I received news that it had just slipped from my grasp, I was crushed. I even left work early because mentally I felt so defeated. I cried the entire thirty minutes home, repeating over and over again: “I thought I had it.”
My gut said yes. My gut said big things were happening, and this was it. So when reality hit that wasn’t the case, I felt so incredibly low. I felt like I couldn’t trust even my own intuition anymore, because I always found my gut to be right – about people, about choices I had to make, and even about what song would come next on shuffle. Well, that last one wasn’t always 100% accurate.
I allowed myself to feel defeat and sadness and discouragement. I wasn’t going to suppress those emotions, because what had happened was truly disappointing and I had to deal with how I was feeling. But once I woke up the next morning, I had a thought.
“I’m going to be a freelance writer.”
Continue reading “My journey into freelance writing & making dreams come true”
I love the idea of a fresh start. The notion of reinvention and rebirth is fascinating and inspiring, and it’s something I think about often. That’s one of the reasons I love this time of year. Like most people, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting as the year draws to a close. Things I accomplished, things I learned, things I’m proud of, and things I could do better in the new year.
Here, I want to explore some of those and share what I’m aspiring to do in 2019.
Continue reading “Looking back & ahead: New Year’s resolutions”
I wasn’t always the most positive person.
It wasn’t so much that I was overly negative before, but I’d say I was easily discouraged and highly impatient. Sometimes, I still am (no one is ever going to be perfectly positive), but I have learned to look on the bright side a lot more.
Often, whether it was school or starting a new job, a creeping self doubt would emerge because of internal frustration. Why wasn’t I a master at something as soon as I started? Why did I make mistakes? Did literally everyone know more than I did? This is incredibly flawed and unrealistic thinking, and it’s one of the things that caused a lot of anxiety and negativity in my life.
Continue reading “Making positivity a priority”
One thing I can tell you is you’ve got to be free.
– Come Together, The Beatles
Today is my 24th birthday! While I’ll be spending it at a Disney park and eating a boatload of chocolate (shocking!), I also wanted to take this chance to commemorate the last year I can call my early twenties (eek!) with some writing! I’ve compiled a list of lessons I’ve learned over the years – specifically in the past year, as there were a lot of lessons – to share. I still have to remind myself sometimes to take my own advice, and it’s not always easy seeing the bright side, but hopefully this serves as an inspiration.
Continue reading “24 things I’ve learned in 24 years”