People don’t change.
That’s what I used to think and believe. But as you can probably surmise from the headline of this blog post, I clearly don’t believe that anymore.
I’ll back up a bit. I think when I’d say “people don’t change,” I was being too absolute. When I said “people don’t change,” I think I meant that their actions don’t change. Their vices don’t change. I thought if you had a friend who’s a constant gossip, they’ll probably always be that way and continue to talk about other people negatively (and likely, you, too) and try to get into your business. I thought if you had a boyfriend cheat, they’d probably do it again and it’s best to hit the road so you can avoid another massive unpleasantry. I thought if you knew someone who would always criticize you, well, they’d probably keep at it.
While some of those examples I still kind of believe are true, I realized something in the past few weeks. Certain aspects of people, like their personality, likely won’t change (in my opinion). But, the way people react to, view and approach situations in their lives will, because of the inevitability of life experience.
Continue reading “These things (and people) will change”
Maybe it’s because I’m a Scorpio, but it’s impossible for me to hide my emotions.
Whether I’m stressed, or excited, or upset, I do a pretty bad job of hiding it. If I’m feeling a negative emotion, I get anxious, I stop talking and I can’t make good eye contact. You can read my poker face, because I don’t have one. It’s just not in me.
I’ve often been hard on myself for this, and it’s also caused me guilt. I’m hypersensitive, so if I even detect a slight shift in mood in somebody else, I immediately think it’s my fault or they’re upset with me. Nine times out of ten, they’re probably just having a bad day. So, that’s where the guilt comes in for me, because I know I’m sure I’ve done that to other people with my inability to mask my feelings. Continue reading “Being authentic and true”
Anyone who mildly knows me probably knows that I love Taylor Swift with all my heart, mind and soul. So naturally, when she released her latest promo single, “The Archer,” I immediately went to my room, put in my headphones and took a deep breath.
In the song, she sings “And I cut off my nose just to spite my face/Then hate my reflection for years and years.”
Admittedly, I had never heard that expression before, so I Googled. Basically, Google/Wikipedia says it’s “an expression to describe a needlessly self-destructive over-reaction to a problem.”
Wow. That’s me.
Now, this post isn’t really meant to talk about overreacting to stuff. Have I done that? Yeah, I think everyone has. But, in one instance, it snowballed into a situation I feel bad about years later.
Continue reading “My debt to pay: A lesson in accountability”
Hi there! It has been a really, really, really long time since I’ve blogged. That’s because life has been absolutely hectic and chaotic and a lovely mess of dreams coming true. And the reason for that is some hard work happening behind the scenes.
Back in March, I experienced a setback that crushed me. It was something I’d built up in my mind, something I was sure I would get. It was huge. And when I received news that it had just slipped from my grasp, I was crushed. I even left work early because mentally I felt so defeated. I cried the entire thirty minutes home, repeating over and over again: “I thought I had it.”
My gut said yes. My gut said big things were happening, and this was it. So when reality hit that wasn’t the case, I felt so incredibly low. I felt like I couldn’t trust even my own intuition anymore, because I always found my gut to be right – about people, about choices I had to make, and even about what song would come next on shuffle. Well, that last one wasn’t always 100% accurate.
I allowed myself to feel defeat and sadness and discouragement. I wasn’t going to suppress those emotions, because what had happened was truly disappointing and I had to deal with how I was feeling. But once I woke up the next morning, I had a thought.
“I’m going to be a freelance writer.”
Continue reading “My journey into freelance writing & making dreams come true”
I have a confession to make: I don’t want to work on my book. It’s not that I don’t want to write – I love writing. It’s my absolute passion and calling. And it’s not that I don’t like my book idea and my current work in progress. But, I’m in the dreaded I-could-write-and-it’s-not-writer’s-block-but-I-can’t-bring-myself-to-do-anything.
So what do you do when you hit this wall? I’m still trying to work it out. But, hopefully, the first step to moving past it is recognizing it!
Continue reading “Staying motivated in writing – when it seems impossible”
I love the idea of a fresh start. The notion of reinvention and rebirth is fascinating and inspiring, and it’s something I think about often. That’s one of the reasons I love this time of year. Like most people, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting as the year draws to a close. Things I accomplished, things I learned, things I’m proud of, and things I could do better in the new year.
Here, I want to explore some of those and share what I’m aspiring to do in 2019.
Continue reading “Looking back & ahead: New Year’s resolutions”
I wasn’t always the most positive person.
It wasn’t so much that I was overly negative before, but I’d say I was easily discouraged and highly impatient. Sometimes, I still am (no one is ever going to be perfectly positive), but I have learned to look on the bright side a lot more.
Often, whether it was school or starting a new job, a creeping self doubt would emerge because of internal frustration. Why wasn’t I a master at something as soon as I started? Why did I make mistakes? Did literally everyone know more than I did? This is incredibly flawed and unrealistic thinking, and it’s one of the things that caused a lot of anxiety and negativity in my life.
Continue reading “Making positivity a priority”